Monday, July 27, 2015

Guitars Available to Good Home

They've had their shots.  They are mostly house-broken.

Just kidding :) (Keep reading, or scroll to the bottom, for info on the 2 guitars for sell)

Some of you know, and some of you don't, that Lars is currently working on getting his paperwork completed for his immigration.  As we currently are, he can't work, he can't drive and filing my taxes is an absolute nightmare.

It is NOT like they show in the movies.  No, its not all "Poof, he can stay and everyone is happy" just because we are married.  Its "file this", mail it off, recieve new letter or email stating "file this and pay this", mail it off, receive new letter or email stating "file this and pay this"....its endless.
We talked to an immigration lawyer who said, "if you expect it to take 6 months, expect 6 years...if you expect 1000 bucks, expect 5000 bucks"...and then I cried all the way home.

Its emotionally and financially draining.  I'm always aware of the deadline - if we aren't able to turn in paperwork within a year then we have to start over.  IF we had been smarter this all could have been done by now - at least where it comes to all the financial part of things.  We still would have to get affidavits, and Dutch Conduct reports, translated birth and marriage records, file our individual statements, and statements from our family and friends, stating that we are a valid relationship.  We would still have to wait stupid amounts of time...BUT it would be moving forward.  Right now we are moving at a snail's pace.  We also have the immediate deadline of October 27th for his passport that we need to renew.  To renew it requires him appear in person for biometric scans and fingerprints.  That's travel to Chicago/Atlanta/Washington D.C., hotel room depending on what time the cheapest flight arrives, the cost of the passport itself (around 150), and a cab ride to his appointment.  If he no longer has a current passport, all progress comes to an abrupt stop as this is only possible IF he has a valid passport.

Lars and I live with the kids and my mother, who is disabled.  I am the only person working and trying to pay all of our standard needs PLUS this is becoming more and more impossible.  We see things pile up and its starts to feel so overwhelming :(.  I live in fear, every day, that time will run out and he will have to leave us - none of us feel that is an option :(.

SO, Lars made the decision to sell 2 of his guitars -

1st is a 7 string Ibanez RG7620, basswood body, maple neck, rosewood fretboard with jumbo frets, made in Japan, custom 7 pickups. The guitar is all original. Guitar comes with case.  Sounds beautiful.  Lars would like $750, or best offer.

2nd we have  the B.C. Rich Mockingbird nj series, neck thru body. This guitar is so beautiful in person :).  Comes with Coffin Case in immaculate condition.  (Lars babies is guitars)  $1500 or best offer for this beauty.

You can contact us via email at, on facebook Kendra's page or Lars' page. He can better answer your questions regarding anything technical.  

If you made it this far, thank you for reading :)

Saturday, July 4, 2015


I have to be honest. Holiday's are hard for me.

Sharing custody 50/50 means there are half of the remainder of my holidays that will be spent without my kids. 

It sucks.

When I was a kid, my parents always made holidays special.  Every Easter there were personal baskets, every Valentine's day there was a stuffed animal, chocolates and a card...and Christmas was out of this world! I woke up to presents that I had asked for during the year, sometimes I had forgotten all about them.  One year, in Alabama, I had said something about wishing I had a birthstone ring.  A girl I knew had one I thought it was so crazy special and cool.  It was way too fancy for my 11-ish year old fantastic to have a real ring with an emerald in it?!

I also, that same year, would run to a specific jewelry case in K-Mart to look at this beautiful cross necklace. It was silver and had an amethyst in the center.  It reminded me of a medieval cross and I just needed it so bad. My dad would laugh and say that maybe someday I could have one like it. I kept hoping that if I looked at it enough times, he would buy it for me and I would wear it out of the store.  One day we went in and it was gone.  I was heartbroken.

Guess what I got in my stocking that year?  I opened this tiny present that had been hiding in my stocking amid candy...and there was my necklace.  I thought I was just going to die!  Not long after that gift, I opened one that had this sweet little emerald ring - all mine and it fit perfectly. 

After that things kinda went 'south' on holiday's.  The next year it was just a home movie of me sitting alone on the couch on one side of the room and my parents on the other. I opened my presents alone and that was it.  I can't remember why my siblings weren't there that year....maybe my brother was fighting in Desert Storm that Christmas.  Then my dad got sick and money was tight, we moved back to Missouri and I watched my mom struggle to make me an afghan for Christmas that year.

When my ex and I got married, I wanted every holiday for my kids to be special like it was for me.  NO matter what struggle, holidays were important. Family around us, cookouts, surprise gifts...

Dad died.  Divorce happens. 

Holiday's suck now.

I'm home on the 4th of July. Sitting behind my computer. 

I see images of my kids having fun with their dad at SDC and I'm so happy for them. 

I'm sad because I'm not with them.  I'm sad that those memories aren't with me in them.  Sometimes I feel like I'm an outsider on their lives.

I don't go to cookouts anymore, no grand family get togethers or outings.  I miss holidays.  I miss when they meant crazy family and fun days.

Now they just into another. 

I work, I sleep, I work, I sleep...I stare at computer screens....

There has to be more than this.....

Friday, July 3, 2015

Oh My!

Oh this.....So today, a co-worker came across this video on their facebook feed and I loved it.  It was quirky and just so strange I couldn't look away.

I had to share that with you :).  If you are anything like me, it will get stuck in your head...I'm not sorry.

So I did a search for more of his stuff and found some other strange ones, but this one - what an amazing talent.  Frankly, with a voice like this I think he can be as weird as he wants :). 

Saturday, June 27, 2015


I've been trying to figure out what to write about.  I read back through some old posts and realized I had said a whole lot of nothing, for a long time.  Now I'm a bit overwhelmed trying to decide how to document 3+ years of my life.  What comes first?

December of 2009 I have 12 posts - some about my life and family, some were About Me quiz's.  Then everything drastically drops off with a post or 2 a month.  Most of them quick little 'filler' posts.  At that time I was dealing with my depression again - I felt like I was just wading through quicksand every day.  

 In April of 2010 there are 2 posts. 1 is mostly about the inversion sprain that I had experienced with my ankle and both of them tell of me leaving my now ex-husband.  After that my life got scattered and crazy. Sometimes I had internet, I worked a lot, I spent time without my kids while they were with their dad and I was working a lot to try to get back on my feet. I did a lot of soul searching and and discovered how amazing my kids are - I became a better mom because I had to fight so hard...and I'm grateful for that.  In July 2010 I wrote This post - where I read and am transported back to that time and can feel the pain all over again - is a great example of what life was like for me.

In December 2010 I lost my job at a local theater.  I loved that job and I loved my boss.  It was a great way to get back into the workforce after being a stay-at-home mom.  I was sad to see it go, but in a way it opened a door for me to a MUCH better job :).  In March of 2011, I started working for an amazing company that I'm still blessed to be a part of.  I've worn a few different hats and I am so grateful that I get to be a part of what we do there.

In May of 2011 I started living in a weekly-rental motel, the first step to getting back on my feet, and experienced the horror of bed bugs.  They derailed my progress for a little bit, but after wrapping my new king size bed in plastic, taping it up with duct tape and putting it in a hot storage shed for a summer, I have been able to use it again.

January of 2012 I conquered my fear and rode in a helicopter for the first time. In May of 2012 I was hospitalized for a week with pneumonia. In July of 2012 I wrote about getting my passport.

Then silence.....

What I didn't write about in June 2010 is that Lars was here for the first time.  He and I met in person, he met the kids and my mother...  It was an amazing experience that I didn't document and as I sit here now, I can't understand why not.  I guess what I really need to do is start with June 2010 and work my way forward and fill in the holes :).  I think writing about what he and I have been going through as a couple, and as a new family, will be a nice direction to take this blog :).